Just Take The Compliment...
Day in and day out I find myself in the most interesting conversations with very interesting individuals. I think everyone is interesting, don’t you? Like, we all have a story. Noones story lacks detail or outweighs anyone else’s story. We’re just usually not open enough to hearing others stories, or crazy day, week, year and so on. We are a selfish society, and we think about ourselves first. Harsh? Maybe. A lie? Nope.
We say things without thought. We use words without intention. We take for granted simple things that most wish or pray for, several times a day.
So, today I learned something.
While at a local retail store checking out, the cashier complimented me. She told me that I was beautiful and looked amazing.
Now, I just so happened to pick out an actual outfit and did my hair and makeup. Knowing darn well I’d be back home by 1 pm at the latest, change into sweats and head to the greenhouse.
At first, I didn’t hear her clearly, so I smiled like a clueless idiot as this woman spoke a true compliment. She repeated herself, and I listened more closely.
I thanked her.
And in the very next moment, my mouth opened, and stupid came out. I’m an over-sharer, I’m working on it.
My reply
“Most days I look homeless but today I decided to get myself together” (mindless to me -comment about looking as if I drug myself from the ditches to make a public appearance).
She looked at me very softly and said, “I just came out of being homeless”
Me to myself in my head- just shut up. Say nothing. You can’t fix that one. You know better. You have been working on this. You have been learning all about reaction. You just really let that one fly.
Me back to reality…
This woman kept the conversation going, showing such grace in a moment that I wanted to fall on the floor and melt away like the wicked witch.
I completed the checkout, and wished the woman a fantastic day, or something like that. It was all I could do to get out the door because I thought I was going to suffocate.
Ever felt that small?
If you said yes, what was your next move?
I walked to my car, probably way too fast to not look suspicious. I got in, shut the door, and said GOD, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think, and yes, I know that’s exactly how I got into this situation. I didn’t think. I wasn’t wise. I know this won’t sit well if I don’t fix it. But Lord, what if she thinks I’m crazy for coming back? Holy and crazy, is that ok? Can we fix this?
Ok, ill head over to the coffee shop, grab a gift card, take it into her and tell her I’m sorry for being insensitive.
While in line at the coffee shop, a lady in front of me appeared to be very upset about not being able to get someone’s attention in what she thought was a reasonable amount of time. Maybe 45 seconds to a minute, if I had to guess. Clear irritation when she was finally met by an employee. But brownie points to the employee- she used kindness, and in the end everyone smiled. Which was another reminder that I was supposed to be here in this moment at this coffee shop to witness this moment. Slow down, be understanding, and use kindness.
Ok, back to the store to find this sweet woman to say what’s on my heart. So, I walked in, and I didn’t see her. Immediate fear that I had waited too long to come back. I had missed the window to make it right. Or to show compassion and still be willing to stand in the wrong.
I looked up to the isles and happen to see her headed to the front. I took off right to her to intercept like a complete psycho.
I stopped her. I said “homeless doesn’t have a look, and I’m sorry for being so insensitive” She looked at me and said “homeless doesn’t have a look”… as if putting something of her own altogether in her head, in that moment. I handed her the gift card and said, “please have a coffee on me, and I’ll be better tomorrow” We exchanged a few moments of meaningful conversation.
Then she said she needed to share something with me because I seemed like the kind of person who would pass it on to someone who needs it.
I handed her my phone and she searched Sean’s House
Somewhere in our conversation she mentioned not believing in God anymore.
In that moment I saw God working. Maybe she did too.
You can just take the compliment and be done with it, or you can open your mouth and spend the next several hours in a new thought pattern.
Whichever way you go- go with grace.
ABOUT SEAN'S HOUSE
Sean’s House is a free resource for young adults ages 14-24. It is a space designed to help members of our community improve their mental health and wellbeing and connect with their peers in a safe and confidential environment. Support is available 24/7 for guests to talk about mental health challenges with other young adult Peer24 Support Specialists who have lived experience with similar challenges. The goal of these services is to improve wellness, empower members of the community, and connect young adults to resources and communities of support that meet their specific needs.
I don’t know the plan, but someone sure does.