The boutique behind the camera, the real me!

The boutique behind the camera…

 

Sometimes I just get the urge to write. I become overwhelmed with feelings, and thoughts, and emotion.

Sometimes things trigger this feeling, and sometimes I’m just having an off day. Who doesn’t have an off day now and then? I mean, as long as you don’t let that off day turn into an off week, month, year, and life… ha. You get my point, right? Like, take a day to deal with yourself, and get your shit straight when you feel like everything is crashing around you. I promise it’s not, but it may sure as hell feel like you are drowning.

I’ve told you all a little about the boutique, and how it started. Now I want to dive deeper, and tell you more about me! Maybe you don’t care, and you just want to buy cute clothes at a great price, which is totally fine, but maybe you are bored at work, or waiting on a kid to get done practice, or just having down time on the sofa, and find yourself reading my blog… (Which by the way, I love that your taking time out of your day).

When I get the urge to write things, I just do it now. It’s my outlet. I am not a good talker, I suck at “using my words” when tasked with trying to express myself. If you are my Facebook friend, you already know that I sometimes put myself out there with a deep thought post. I share my feelings, and thoughts. More so recently, as I become more in tune with who I am as a person. Trust me, it took a longggg time, and a lot of heartbreak, and let down. Thankfully, I am slowly learning to embrace these moments in life that I thought would break me, and learn from them. Not only am I learning from them, I hope I can help someone else, who may also be feeling the same way.

Quick back ground- You all already know I am a medic. I was a slave to my job on the ambulance. While I love helping people, people also drive me nuts! We all get that…. Right? So, one cold February day, my partner, and best friend (yes he’s a guy, yes he and I spent a lot of time together, and yes my husband understood the bond we had/ have). We were running calls, laughing, joking, and making fun of each other, because in our world, if you weren’t doing those things, you weren’t going to make it out alive. It’s a sick, demented coping mechanism. Anyone who works in EMS, police, fire, or medicine in general, typically gets it. So, if you’re reading this, and a brand new nurse, or cop, or anything related… yep, were all jaded, and seem inhumane. Give it a couple years, you’ll figure it out. Ok, got off topic… So as we clear a call, and by that I mean were leaving the hospital, we just dropped off a patient. We noticed our area was overwhelmed with calls, but none that weren’t being handled. So, we took a back way to the station, stopping at the rofo to probably grab an energy drink.. red bull for me, monster for him, and maybe some snacks. After all we probably weren’t getting lunch, it’s busy. Little did we know… we weren’t getting lunch, or dinner, or off on time. So, we finally made our way back to the station. I got settled in to start my reports, and we always monitor the radio to hear what’s going on around us. I had just got started on my first report when we heard a call come out to the Panera bread for a fall. Normal call right? Seconds later it was upgraded to a shooting, with the final comments being “officer involved”.  Without speaking to each other, John and I both darted for our unit, after all this was in our first due area. (Area we are initially responsible for if were available). We started that way, when the radio traffic became more intense. At that moment that we crossed on the small bridge on Abingdon road, the most upsetting words came across the radio… “Second officer down, in cardiac arrest”.  I looked at John, and said, “Turn around, I don’t want to go”…. Well…. That’s not an option in this job. So, we continued, and arrived within minutes. We went to work, we did everything we were supposed to, and we transported that officer to the hospital… we probably had an escort of at least 50 officers to the hospital. When we pulled in, and the back doors of the medic opened, it seemed like every staff member of the ED was there, waiting, and ready to take over. Thank god. I stepped out of the medic that day, and left my heart on that dirty floor. If you ever see me post about “the worst day”, that’s what I am talking about.

While this circumstance made me question society as a whole, I also let it break me.

What does this have to do with anything? It has everything to do with it all!

I took about 6 months off of work in total, sat around feeling sorry for myself, unable to face anyone who I saw that day, except my partner. Unable to go run a call, and a deputy show up... I would simply fade into the back ground and try to push away my tears. Why? I have no idea. Everyone else was back to work, and being normal. What the hell is wrong with me?

I spent some time with a counselor, who taught me that I needed to get things out. So, writing was the best I could come up with. I couldn’t talk to friends, or my husband, or anyone. Maybe my dad now and then, and John. I am sure though at some point, john wanted me to shut up and let it go too. I just couldn’t figure out how to get closure.

 

…… two and a half years later, I am a different person. I am more caring, more compassionate, and more eager to help people who may be struggling with similar scenarios, or issues, and don’t know where to turn. Even if it’s just me putting up a post on Facebook. I want people to know that someone else can relate, and you can get better.

 

Why this boutique is saving my sanity…..

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I would not be here without Ashley pushing me to do this! I mean… talking me into this, and then her saying, “I’m opening a salon, you got this girl”. It was like a blessing I didn’t even see coming. I feel like Ashley knew all along that I needed something in life, but I’m not much of a go getter, so she helped me along. She helped me get out there, and open up my mind to things! I couldn’t be more grateful! You know it’s funny, the real friends in our lives that are more like family, always know when we need something, or someone. They pick you up when you are down, and encourage you in ways you may not truly understand until months, or years later.

The boutique has really become something I can’t imagine not doing! I feel like it’s my job to help my friends, and customers who have become friends, look, and feel their best! I want to empower every single one of you, and make you smile, and feel great. I suppose the life lesson here is to always push forward, if you are in a funk, be in that funk, but get out of it! Nothing can change what happened yesterday, and you are in control of tomorrow!

Just be kind….

Ps... that pic is John, and I... You'll know him from my Facebook post too!